I Wish that Someone Had Told Me These Things

These Q&As are shamelessly borrowed from The Bloggess, who is a goddess among both bloggers and women and perhaps especially women bloggers. She's very wise about things like depression, kittens, and sex, which are three things I think about constantly.

Dear Bloggess,

Is it okay to be 20 and to have never had a boyfriend? Is it okay to be a bit fussy? I've seen most of my friend’s relationships go down in flames and I have had to be the one on disaster clean up duty, is it bad to be a little bit nervous because of it all?

Yours truly, Nervy Ness

If you’re not nervous about the idea of having a boyfriend then you aren’t ready to have a boyfriend. Men are like guns…you’re supposed to be cautious around them even if you’re an expert because they’re a bit dangerous. Also, because they go off unexpectedly. But they’re nice to have around because they make you feel safer. Except that they might accidentally kill you. This is why it’s good to be a bit wary around them. Guns, I mean. Men are fine. Unless they have guns. Then you’re totally fucked.

Dear Bloggess,

I was diagnosed with Depression. AND an Anxiety Disorder. I'm only 14. And even though my family knows about it, it's like they don't give a Rat's ass. My Mom is waay too pushy, my sister gets all pissy because she thinks I want attention, my Dad's a bastard and he pretty much just ignores it. I'm too scared to tell anyone else, and I'm pretty sure I have lost all my friends. And I was depressed, for like, a year before I actually dragged my Mom to a counselers office. And no one even batted an eye. I know this all kind of angsty and a bit self-pity-ish. But I feel like I'm all alone, and I am barely hanging on a thread. I though someone like you, who’s kinda of gone through the same thing, could give me some advice. I realize that I didn't actually ask you a question. Sorry. I suck that way.

~dEAdButTERflies

You don’t suck and you aren’t alone. I’ve been there and I know it seems impossibly hard right now but it will get better. Ages 12-18 suck in general even if you aren’t battling depression and anxiety and I’m giving you a mental high-five just for having the determination to see a counselor. There are a lot of adults who aren’t strong enough to admit they need help so you’re already a step ahead of most people twice your age. I know your parents seem like idiots right now (and maybe they are) but I bet that they love you and want you to be happy even if they don’t understand what you’re going through. Don’t give up on them. Keep them in the loop. Everyone has a different way of pulling themselves out of the hole of depression. For me it’s medication, sunshine, exercise and giving myself permission to be sad but reminding myself that when I’m depressed I’m not rational and that feeling alone and thinking everyone hates me is not real and is just the depression lying to me. Find a friend to confide in, keep seeing your counselor and know that it does get better. I promise. Don’t give up.

(via The Bloggess)